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Some Quick Answer to Some Quick Questions

1. What is your approach to parenting?

As a management consultant, I view the family as a system of individuals whose behavior can be modified through the application of specific social management techniques by other individuals within the system, much in the same way a boss manages his subordinates.  As anyone knows, the ultimate goal of parenting is to develop self-reliant autonomously operating pediatric units.

2. Should I water-board my child when they lie to me?  I mean you are only pretending to drown them.

Are you sick!!  My goal is to assist clients in creating self reliant autonomous pediatric operating units, not terrorists.  There are much more appropriate, humane and effective methodologies to deal with lying children.  Besides, the truth is that even CIA interogation experts agree that torture, beside being illegal, does not get the truth out of people (although with all of the cigarette burns you see on some kids you know that many parents still havent figured this out).

3. What about keeping your kids in cages?  I hear that can be advantageous.

Seriously? Please consider buying yourself a book on the genitourinary tract and neutering yourself.  I'll send you a dull knife.  What is your address, I will do you a favor and take your kids off of your hands and put them with a loving family.

March 17, 2006 |

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  • For idiots
    Short Form:
    This is a joke. If you think any of this is good parenting advice, you deserve to have your children taken away by the local children's aid society. If you are too lazy to call them yourself, call us and we will do it on your behalf.
    Long Form:
    Child Rearing is a satirical site, written by a management consultant who, if possible, would like to send you a bill for reading this blog. As with all advice given by a management consultant, do not implement it, in fact, in most cases do the exact opposite and you will be better served. The site publishes both rumors and conjecture, in addition to a minimal amount of accurately reported information. Information on this site will contain errors or inaccuracies; the site's proprietors do not make warranty as to the correctness or reliability of the site's content. Links to content on and quotation of material from other sites are not the responsibility of the owner.