Doing Tha' Deal

More Boo Hooin'

Seriously guys, you have to stop crying about having to be accountable for your pensions.  Why not whine about something else, like issuing annual reports all together.  If you don't like it, just find a private equity firm or hedge fund to help you go private.  They won't hold your feet to the fire or anything.

Execs' Letters Rip FASB Pension Draft

The proposed statement by the accounting board could upset companies' annual budgeting and create chaos at year's end, employers contend.

David M. Katz, CFO.com

June 07, 2006

Many senior finance executives fear that the Financial Accounting Standards Board's plan for overhauling pension accounting will place an onerous crunch on year-end closes that have already grown frantic (continued...)

We Bend Over For Our Clients!

Or is it "we look the other way?"

Ernst & Young Nixes Chinese Loans Report

By ELAINE KURTENBACH, AP Business Writer Mon May 15, 4:25 AM ET

SHANGHAI, China - International accounting firm Ernst & Young has withdrawn a report it issued earlier suggesting that China's banks were facing up to $911 billion in bad loans.

"Upon further research, Ernst & Young Global finds that this number cannot be supported, and believes it to be factually erroneous," Ernst & Young LLP said in a statement seen Monday on its Web site.

The accounting firm said the report had not gone through its usual internal review process before it was issued.

"We apologize that this erroneous report was issued," it said. "We sincerely regret any misleading views that the report conveyed."(>continued....)

Looks like E&Y wants to keep some of its Chinese banking clients.

Here at PTMG, we have an internal review process as well.  It goes something like this:

Josh (out loud): If we publish this report, are any of our clients going to get pissed off?

Josh (in Josh's head): Well maybe...

Josh (out loud): Well are any of the clients that are going to be pissed off good clients?

Josh (in Josh's head): Any client that gives PTMG money is a good client......

Josh (out loud): Okay, scrap the article, let's go for lunch.

You see, the key difference between the E&Y process and the PTMG process is that we scrap articles before they are read by the public.................

Skilling's Defense Strategy

.........confuse the hell out of the jury?

Who knew that Jeff Skilling was a stand up (or sit down as the case may be) comedian:

"It's funny that Sarbanes-Oxley, that's one of the protections to make sure there isn't another Enron, we had it before," maintained former Enron chief executive officer Jeffrey Skilling on his first day of testimony, according to the Houston Chronicle.

What is the "it" that you are referring to Jeff, is "it" your "internal Sarbanes-Oxley" or Enron's prior internal control issues in the late 1980's with Louis Borget and his flirtation with Enron's cash.

and don't forget this classic:

In fact, asked by his attorney Daniel Petrocelli whether he would consider himself "a control freak," Skilling reportedly responded, "It's more accurate to call me a controls freak than a control freak." CFO

Shit Jeff, I hope, for your sake, that your lawyers are going to pull a rabbit out of your ass, cuz this ain't looking like much of a defense so far..............ya ya ya, I know, your lawyers will play up that most of the prosecutions witnesses have rolled over for lighter jail terms and that you were more of a visionary/strategy guy who left the details type work to others (yet you maintain that you are a "controls freak", despite that bizarre never-marking-to-market accounting approach that Enron used).  Good luck on the "I didn't know" strategy, despite being a "controls freak".

What do you mean

we can't write our own paychecks?  Oh, wait a minute, you are right, we don't own the place..................

CalPERS backs US Bancorp shareholder pay proposal

Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:05 PM ET

By Jonathan Stempel

NEW YORK, April 10 (Reuters) - CalPERS, the largest U.S. pension fund, on Monday endorsed a proposal to require U.S. Bancorp <USB.N> to give shareholders a say in how the No. 6 U.S. bank pays its top executives.

The $207.2 billion fund, also known as the California Public Employees' Retirement System, announced its support less than three weeks after the Minneapolis-based bank's chief executive, Jerry Grundhofer, mailed shareholders an unusual letter urging rejection of the proposal (continued...)

What if I Propose a Deal to you?

You sell me your wife car for $1000.00 and then I turn around and sell her it for $1300.00 right in front of your face, would you be celebrating?

You'll give me a grand for my wife.........yahoo!  Didn't think so?

So why are the Tim Horton's/Wendy's Corporate types all happy that their stock is up 30% by the middle of its first day of trading?  You just left 30% sitting on the table.  Ya, Ya, you can argue that it was only 15% of the company, and it was really important for the sale to go well, but geez, isn't it the part of the deal makers to make sure the deal goes well?  I mean any idiot can underprice an asset and then celebrate when it sells for a higher price?  Is that really worth an underwriting commission of around 5% (ya, I am guessing on this) on a raise of $670 million?

Tim Hortons shares leap 30 pct in market debut - Reuters

More on Pension Plans,

I mean ponzi schemes, no wait, I mean pensions.  Aw, I give up, I am not sure I can really tell the difference anymore.

Anyways, here is a good starting point from the National Post

Dossier: Lori McLeod looks at the business story of the week

Momma, I'm coming home (and then there were three)

Stick with me here folks, SBC buys AT&T, then becomes AT&T and then goes out and buys BellSouth, creating a company with 120 billion in sales and an additional $22.3 billion of debt, including BellSouth's $16.8 billion debt and the $5.5 billion of Cingular's debt attributable to BellSouth and recreates the Good Ol' Ma Bell.

-Now for the rub:

The deal includes a $1.7 billion break-up fee as part of the conditions of AT&T and BellSouth's merger agreement.

And the CEO spin

"The merger ... is a very logical next step. It will improve our growth profile," AT&T Chief Executive Ed Whitacre said in a conference call with analysts. (Reuters...)

Ah, the good old qualitative analysis by the CEO........you would think this guy could spout some good numbers in support of a $67 billion purchase, but all that comes out in the press is that this is "a very logical next step".  Hey, Whitacre, Steve Case called..........he wants his spin back.............

Here's the future........

Deal get regulatory approval, synergies fail to materialize, banker's break up the company.......again.